- Church Lady, in Church -style hat. Bonus points if the hat is part of a monochrome ensemble, where the hat was clearly decided upon FIRST.
- . Extra points if it’s with a suit and tie.
- Unironic Stetson, when paired with a belt that was achieved through some display of testosterone.
- Smiling baby in sun hat. (Tied with cranky baby trying to pull sun hat off and throw it out of the stroller.)
- Tween or teen in ironic-cute animal, cartoon, or knit cap. Earflaps optional, but appreciated.
- Queen Elizabeth II’s hats. All of them. But in particular.
- Dude in a porkpie hat who knows it’s faintly ridiculous, but is okay with wearing it anyway. [NB: this set should include all wearers of porkpie hats]
- Everyone, in p.