you know, there's another meaning of 'necklaced'


And that meaning is even direr than this one. In fact, I might, in a fit of inexcusable hyperbole, prefer to have a flaming tire slung around my neck than this dress-necklace combo, but that's just because dresses with unnatural and undetachable jewelry (as opposed to beading, which is natural) are one of the (many) things that set me off on a rant. To wit:

Why? I just don't get it. Is finding and putting on a necklace such a chore that one needs to be relieved of it by one's other garments? Half the time the necklace isn't necessary, anyhow, which means that you have those occasions to rest up for the times when you absolutely have to wear one. Anyway, a dress with an embedded necklace is never as nice as a dress without, quality-wise; ditto the attached necklace versus one that leads its own independent life.

I suppose that this is yet another violation of one of my basic rules, which is "be what you are." If you are a dress, be a dress; if you are a necklace, you should be a necklace. If you are a button, button. If you are a belt, you should loosen and tighten; a drawstring should draw and a tie should be able to be untied, should circumstances warrant. If you are thinking about adding something that is only for show, and which doesn't actually function, that's a good sign that you don't really need it.

Thankfully, these dreklaces are akin to other species crosses, such as zedonks and ligons, and can't breed.

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0 thoughts on “you know, there's another meaning of 'necklaced'

  1. And apart from all that – it’s an ugly necklace with cheaplooking beads. If you’re going to build a necklace into your dress, make it something pretty, like Pilgrim or something.

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  2. Yes, I dislike the necklace, however I’m loving the dress… or at least what I can see of it. Any idea where to find a pattern similar to it – including the neckline? 😉

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  3. Also, if a team of stylists on the photo shoot couldn’t manage to get the necklace to lay symmetrically, I’m guessing it will be beyond the reach of a mere mortal. I agree that minus the necklace the dress has interesting possibilities. I like the fluttery raglan sleeves.

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  4. Eeek. Dare I say I like it? I do. But I would never be able to wear it and thus it is useless to me. I very likely would hang myself on the strings. But I like it.

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  5. I don’t care for the dress, but I didn’t think necklace until I saw your words. It just looks like a dress with three weird beads on it.

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  6. It kind of reminds me of a suspension bridge….that cable across the top is really to hold up the neckline of the bodice. It’s support mission isn’t geting much of a workout on this particular model, but might really come in handy on a fuller chested woman.

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  7. Why did the designer feel the need to ruin a perfectly lovely sweetheart neckline? Idiot.Now, if they’d left off the beads and the ladder-rung strands though the middle and just left a little bias-strip thing to hold the interesting shoulder treatment together, that would have looked lovely, IMO.But nobody ever asks me. =b–Lydia

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  8. I don’t think this dress is so bad, I just don’t think it is $300.00 worth of good. At least it is basic black. If Newport News knocked off this dress, it would be “kiwi.”Amy

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  9. I’m loath to call this a “necklace.” It’s barely even a reasonable facsimile thereof. Looks like someone phoned it in at 4:59pm on a Friday, thinking: “I haven’t met my New Ideas quota this week, I’d better come up with SOMETHING!” Bleah.

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  10. does that mean you didn’t like Robert’s dress, from last weeks Project Runway? When viewed from the back, the attached necklaces turned into straps. I kinda liked it, actually. Keep in mind it was made out of home furnishings….anna

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  11. Ok, I hate to play the devil’s advocate here, but I don’t see how you can feel so strongly favorably toward scarf dresses for the same reasons that you hate the necklace dresses. Ok so maybe this just means I’m addicted to your blog, but last month you drove your point home about scarf dresses! Your quote (June 3, 2006):”I’m a big fan of the dress that is its own accessory. Not just because I’m scarf-impaired (which, sadly, is the case), but because it’s impossible to forget to pack the scarf if it’s part of the dress.”While I like the scarf dresses for their vintage and feminine appeal, I’d never wear them because they’re too cutsey (same with collared dresses). This dress, aside from the cheap look to the beads and string, has a very sophisticated and edgy look, that I would personally be extremely proud to pull off!

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  12. It could give a whole new twist on the romantic fiction cliche:”…The strong, capable hands that had landed their stricken 747 earlier that morning rose up to protect her once again, as an over-enthusiastic tango dancer toppled towards them. She was sure she felt a tug on her heartstrings – but no! Looking down she realised his gold and diamond cufflink had caught on her drecklace. The key string broke, sending the three precious plastic beads cascading over the dance floor. Their eyes met, her heart beat wildly under his captured wrist. “I seem to have ruined your dress,” he said, his eyes burning deep into hers. “Don’t worry,” she managed to whisper, the unexpected nearness of him causing her to tremble. “I got it in the sale, and Erin didn’t approve anyway.” His mouth twitched in amusement. “Besides,” he murmured as he slowly extracted a broken strand from her cleavage, and moved his lips closer to hers. “It could be something we tell our grandchildren about.” Music swells as our couple complete the clinch.

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  13. You said, “If you are thinking about adding something that is only for show, and which doesn’t actually function, that’s a good sign that you don’t really need it.” Can I play devil’s advocate too? If buttons should button and zippers should zip, and so on, what is it collars do, besides look decorative? Unless you live in the arctic, where a collar has the purpose of keeping your neck warm, most collars serve no purpose other than to be decorative. Why love collars and hate ‘dresses that aren’t just dresses’. I am fond of attaching halter type dresses to necklaces by way of a casing at the top. You can swap out the style of necklace anytime to get a new look.

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  14. I actually sorta like it. 🙂 I didn’t think “necklace” necessarily, more “suspension bridge” like mcjulie-o, and a cool accessory. Probably more flattering on a fuller-chested model, IMHO.But I have met Necklace Tanks, which are quite horrid. The half-necklace (for it only covers the front, leaving one to wonder where the rest of it went!) clasps at the shoulders onto thread chain loops. They were sold at the store where I worked. By the time many of them reached clearance, the loops were broken and the necklace dangled precariously off one shoulder. 😛 Not my cup o’ tea.

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  15. I like it. It looks more like “trim” than “jewelry”. The model’s expression reminds me of my expression when I was modelling which may explain why I’m not a model anymore.

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  16. I like the use in this dress because it’s a perfect vehicle for the cut of these sleeves. They are awesome! How I long for the days when my arms looked this good, cowabunga!!

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