warning: not suitable for petticoats


sends this stunner our way, with the caveat that it doesn't play nicely with petticoats. If this makes no sense to you, understand that Jilli is the proprietress of

Obviously, what this dress *is* suitable for is riding on Vespas–but then, what isn't? If I had a Vespa I would ride it INDOORS. I would live in a warehouse just so I could ride it from my bedroom to the kitchen and back. Forget that "when I am old I shall wear purple" nonsense; I figure that as soon as my odds of having a ministroke top my odds of being in an unfortunate Vespa accident, a Vespa I shall have.

I suppose the Vespa here is some kind of semiotic shorthand for "I am La Bella Italienne! See, I wear the fabric of brown to set off my skin of olive!" but the problem with using a Vespa in fashion ads is that NOTHING is as cool as a Vespa, so people think, "oh, yeah, nice dress but–LOOK AT THAT VESPA!"

Anyway, this dress is on clearance (well, $99, reduced from $198) at Barrie Pace, a catalog I have not seen much of since I left the Southland. There are lots of other things on clearance that all seem very wedding-friendly, not only for guests but for bridesmaids-sans-butt-bow and mothers of brides and grooms. In fact, there were a couple that I liked a bit more than this one. Why don't they get pictured? No Vespa.

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0 thoughts on “warning: not suitable for petticoats

  1. thing with riding vespas indoors–they’re 2-stroke engines so they’re very stinky. you want some sort of indoor Electric scooter. :)i was trying to figure out what kind of dress one could wear while riding a vespa, but really, it’s not very practical unless you were wearing dress-like culottes (split skirt) with over-the-knee motorcycle boots. and even then…

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  2. Of course, I was 2/3rds of the way through this post before I noticed there was a Vespa in the picture. And by the bye, did the scooter girls who allegedly wore all those mini-dresses on sale on ebay ride on the back, side saddle, or is the whole scooter girl thing a myth?Anyhoo, you can’t go wrong with a shirt dress, and I think this example would look fabulous on me!

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  3. This is a really cute dress. Iam of irish/scottish, finn decent and therefor look like death warmed over in brown. I would hope this comes in another color besides brown for me.The Vespa is cute too. I have never been on one. I so love the idea of it ,and Audrey on the Vespa of course.

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  4. Oh man, if I had a vespa I would never get off it. I’d stride around with brilliantly tousled hair (no helmet hair when you drive a vespa!) Gorgeous scarf, jeans and a leather jacket, aviators sunglasses perched on my perfect hair. YOu’re just making me want a vespa even more now. It makes sense! I’d get to be smugger than the electric car people!

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  5. The thing about vespas/dresses: hate to say it, but watch some Italian movies–you gotta ride side saddle. Wear a sheath dress, with some grande shades and a scarf; chiffon’s the best. That said, used to ride on the back of one (red, of course). Wear something short, and hike it to kingdom come, then snuggle up to the guy in front. We even carried a 5’foot x-mas tree on it one year.

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  6. Maybe a couple of strategically-placed clothespins could prevent the inevitable recreation of the Seven Year Itch subway-exhaust scene. Either that, or some ugly-but-functional bike shorts, which saved me many an embarrassing moment in high school and college.I’m loving these dresses; hating their prices. Being poor stinks. But it definitely forces one to be creative!…

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  7. I’m a great believer in sturdy black tights under dresses/skirts; they can obviate many a potentially embarrassing moment.And what the heck, Vespas and purple aren’t incompatible. A friend of mine bought a purple Norton, for heaven’s sake.

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