Jen (from ) sent me this picture of a Duro-esque dress … it's very close, and honestly, if it were my size I might have jumped at. If it were my size, and not a MATERNITY DRESS, I would have.
Ah, maternity clothing. Ugh, maternity clothing. I know, I know, it gets cuter every year, and those of you who had kids in the 1970s or earlier can go ahead and tell me in the comments about the bows and the infantilizing details and the sheer impossibility of finding anything not shudder-inducing. I actually had some nice things (I recommend Japanese Weekend — secondhand if you can find it, that stuff's spendy) but the monotony of wearing the same five things day in and day out was soul-deadening, for the most part. I did enjoy wearing a bright orange shirt that, in my eighth month, made me look like The Great Pumpkin, come to give all the good girls and boys presents on Halloween. (Too bad it was February.)
Anyway, if I could get past the maternity stigma (it's like getting food poisoning from something and not ever being able to eat it again, that's how I feel about maternity clothing) I might even think about making this. Of all the views in the pattern above, I like the center one. I hate beige in all of its guises, so I would make it in cherry red or bright green with a contrasting band, maybe floral, maybe geometric, and if anyone asked if I were pregnant again, I'd smile, say no, and thank them for being interested.
And, while we're here: sent me two links you all MUST know about. First, from the Sartorialist. Somehow, I think the woman in that picture and I would have a LOT to talk about. Next, EVERY COLOR OF TIGHTS (and FISHNETS) ever. And not at break-the-bank prices, either! My favorite orange fishnets have given up the ghost and I was despairing of finding replacements. And now: despair gone! (Just like pie.)
Maybe I could wear fishnets with the maternity dress, as an "I'm NOT pregnant" signifier. (Although they probably make maternity fishnets now.)