What to expect when you're not expecting.

Jen (from ) sent me this picture of a Duro-esque dress … it's very close, and honestly, if it were my size I might have jumped at. If it were my size, and not a MATERNITY DRESS, I would have.

Ah, maternity clothing. Ugh, maternity clothing. I know, I know, it gets cuter every year, and those of you who had kids in the 1970s or earlier can go ahead and tell me in the comments about the bows and the infantilizing details and the sheer impossibility of finding anything not shudder-inducing. I actually had some nice things (I recommend Japanese Weekend — secondhand if you can find it, that stuff's spendy) but the monotony of wearing the same five things day in and day out was soul-deadening, for the most part. I did enjoy wearing a bright orange shirt that, in my eighth month, made me look like The Great Pumpkin, come to give all the good girls and boys presents on Halloween. (Too bad it was February.)

Anyway, if I could get past the maternity stigma (it's like getting food poisoning from something and not ever being able to eat it again, that's how I feel about maternity clothing) I might even think about making this. Of all the views in the pattern above, I like the center one. I hate beige in all of its guises, so I would make it in cherry red or bright green with a contrasting band, maybe floral, maybe geometric, and if anyone asked if I were pregnant again, I'd smile, say no, and thank them for being interested.

And, while we're here: sent me two links you all MUST know about. First, from the Sartorialist. Somehow, I think the woman in that picture and I would have a LOT to talk about. Next, EVERY COLOR OF TIGHTS (and FISHNETS) ever. And not at break-the-bank prices, either! My favorite orange fishnets have given up the ghost and I was despairing of finding replacements. And now: despair gone! (Just like pie.)

Maybe I could wear fishnets with the maternity dress, as an "I'm NOT pregnant" signifier. (Although they probably make maternity fishnets now.)

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0 thoughts on “What to expect when you're not expecting.

  1. Erin, I think I got some great orange fishnets from Hue….I say I think because I don’t have the wrapping anymore. Just the tights! I’m going to wear them with the dress I’m making for Easter.

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  2. Given my current maternity state I am appreciating the vicarious style of dressaday even more than usual at the moment. I was at Target looking at maternity bathing suits this weekend and felt like killing myself.I do have a maternity dress that is very much like this pattern, made for me by my mother from a 1970s original. I, um, don’t wear it outside my house, even though it’s a pleasant Liberty print. But I love my mother anyway.

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  3. Ya know? As a women with quite a tummy on her, I’ve longed to wear maternity clothes, for sheer comfort reasons. Also? sometimes you can find really cute tops, etc. at your local tar-zhey.But the problem is that you end up looking pregnant rather than portly. And that just raises too many questions, especially when you are kidless and 35.

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  4. You know, I love that beige view. What would happen if you moved those skirt gathers around so they weren’t centered? I think it would just be flatteringly high waisted then. In a bold color, you’d be unstoppable.

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  5. Colored fishnets are still OK, then? I have a hot pink pair I bought on clearance, waiting to be worn with a wool herringbone skirt I have that has a hot pink robbon trim toward the bottom.

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  6. I think colored fishnets are still okay. But there’s always the possibility that I’m the last person clinging to them … mine today are light brown.

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  7. I love fishnets. Any color. I wish that site would have been around when I got married. I could not find ivory fishnets to save my life.

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  8. I’m not a fan of fishnets, although I do have a pair or two B) im my defense I’d say they’re black.but i do love tights and socks in colour.

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  9. I think colored fishnets are still okay. But there’s always the possibility that I’m the last person clinging to themI have an entire drawer of my lingerie chest devoted to nothing but fishnets in various shades of pink. You are not the last person clinging to colored fishnets by a long shot. (Just yesterday, I wore powder-pink fishnets over b&w stripy tights, and got a gazillion compliments on it.)

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  10. I am wretchedly embarassed to admit I like the last top and I am not pregnant.Perhaps it’s the prospect of hiding a beer belly I still refer to as pregnancy weight…from 3 years ago…

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  11. Erin, if you don’t like the gathers, why not just take them out, instead of trying to figure where to push them?And for the ladies who would be grateful for the accommodation to their shape … why not just wear something and be comfortable? And not just this pattern, either. If Nature/Time/Whatever has given you a shape that needs accommodating, go where the fit is. And that includes maternity wear. And if someone is so nosy as to ask when you’re due, open your eyes wide and say, “Whyever would you ask that??” just for fun.And for the fishnet tight wearers: again, if you like them, wear them! I wear black tights summer and winter, regardless of fashion, and have done so for years. This past year they were “fashionable” for the summer, but I’ll be wearing them this summer regardless of their fashionworthy status.

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  12. hey we changed our site the link you posted is not longer valid. you can get to Tights or Fishnets by clicking here thank you! your friends at we love colors

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  13. I made this dress in a blue plaid when I was pregnant in 1987. This very dress. And I remember wearing the same five dresses every week, as well.

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