No, no, no, no, no.

Please, for the love of all that's holy — No. Just don't. Please don't. Do you want me to beg? I will. I'm begging you now. This abomination is TERRYCLOTH, for pete's sake. Think of the children! They're gonna use you as a hand towel, and what are you going to say? "Stop, you'll ruin my dress?"

Please. Back slowly away from the Juicy "Couture" and no one will get hurt.

(You can click on the image for a purchase link if you want, but it is presented for entertainment purposes only. Dress A Day Management accepts no responsibility for any fashion accidents that may result from any such clicking.)

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More Ebay Goodness

An excellent and highly wearable 1950s cotton day dress in a really nice print. And, of course, it has a Peter Pan collar … B34, W26, which is about a modern 6-8. Click on the picture to head to the auction.

The buttons are non-functional. I know lots of folks have a beef with non-functional buttons (they're probably the same folks that demand language be 'logical') but I don't mind 'em. Sometimes you just need things whose only function is to look nice. In this case, the function of these buttons is to provide a path for the eyes to follow up to the collar. That's their job, and they do it nicely. Don't ask them to hold something together, too!

(Note to regular readers: I'm traveling this week and next and may be late posting some days, but I do intend to post every day …)

Cherry dress, on sale

I, like every other mid-thirties vaguely-retro girl in the ENTIRE WESTERN WORLD, has had (okay, does still have) a thing for cherry print. I probably have ten yards of various cherry-print fabrics waiting around for the perfect confluence of patterns and time to present themselves, plus myriad cherry accessories … so of course this dress caught my eye.

I'm not saying that I would ever wear this dress (I'm not big on halters, although I think they're lovely, they're firmly in the not-good-on-me column) but it's certainly … eye-catching. And right now it's 20% off at Pinupgirlclothing.com if you use this code: ccSummer20. (It's normally $59. Click on the picture to go to their shop.)

What I like best about this dress (besides the cherry print, of course, and the fact that it is sized up to 3X) is how blatant it is. Everyone should have one dress that is overtly sexy, intentionally sexy, malice-aforethought sexy, deliberately, cartoonishly, "look-at-me, damn-I'm-sexy" sexy. (And, of course, the confidence to wear it out of the house!)

Do you have a "damn, I'm sexy" dress? What's it like? When was the last time you wore it? I'm still thinking about whether or not I even have one, and if not, what I ought to do about that.

A "wiggle" dress

From Ebay, a knockout of a dress. A little on the small side (25" waist), but in great condition and a truly marvelous print.

A "wiggle" dress, for those of you unfamiliar with this locution, is a dress with a tight, tapered skirt that doesn't allow for normal-sized steps. So when you wear it, you wiggle. (At least, that's my folk etymology for it, but it makes sense …) Think Marilyn Monroe and the "sexy secretary" trope. Searching for "wiggle dress" on Ebay will get you many, many excellent examples.

A Musical Question (Courtesy Cole Porter)

Is it the girl or is it the gown?
Which one of the two do you love?
Is it her hair that makes her so fair?
Is it her lips you long to caress
Or is it that exquisite dress?
Is she the dream of all you desire
Or is it her frock
That happens to knock you down?
Is it the girl you love so dearly
Or is it merely her beautiful gown?

"Is It The Girl (Or Is It The Gown)?" (1944)

(complete lyrics )

The Handbag-Industrial Complex

That's what I blame for the lack of pockets in modern women's clothing. Somehow the handbag manufacturers got to the garment industry and made them an offer they couldn't refuse. "No more dresses with pockets," they hissed, "or else." Then they smiled evilly and tossed a lit cigarette onto a bolt of silk chiffon.

Thankfully, patterns such as this still exist, passed from hand to hand in a kind of sartorial samizdat.

I haven't made this one yet as I can't decide whether to make the main body of the dress in plaid, and the shoulders in stripes, or vice versa. Or perhaps the main body in pink with white polka dots, and the shoulders in white with pink polka dots. Either way it will be an eyesore, of course, but a happy eyesore. (Besides, if you're going to defy the handbag-industrial complex, you must do it with brio.)

Click on the picture to see the whole pattern envelope in a new window.